« September 2007 | Main | February 2008 »

January 28, 2008

Sure, but it does help...

I've got some friends who tell me that they want God to come down and move in a such a mighty way that there is no way not to believe - or at least to quench any of their own doubts about His existence. These are the types who ride the fence, simultaneously hoping God will move mightily and also hoping He won't, so that their lives will not be altered in any way. So, when I read the the Gospel in the Office today, my first thought following Jesus' words were, "Yeah, I know that type..."

"Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will by no means believe."
What I find interesting about this quote from Jesus is that the man who had just spoken to him had travelled quite a ways (at least a day's journey) to find Jesus and implore Him to heal his son. He certainly believed in Jesus' power to heal, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered to travel and find Him. What he didn't believe was that Jesus was the Christ. I find this comment interesting, because this man didn't seem like he believed anything but that there was a miracle-worker in the neighborhood, and Jesus knew it. And so Jesus stated as much. Interesting also, is Jesus' response immediately following that comment: "Go your way; your son lives."

Yes, the man believed in nothing other than a miracle-worker. Yes, he wanted nothing other than to have his son healed. And yes, he would leave after he got what he wanted (I doubt this man wanted to leave his wife and family and follow Jesus as an itinerant disciple). Jesus knew this, and yet He still healed the nobleman's son.

So the man believed the word
Also interesting is that this man took Jesus' word for it. He didn't continue to implore Jesus to come down and touch his son, heal him before his very eyes. He simply said, "Ok. If you say it, I'll believe it. Thanks," and went about his way back home completely by faith. Then lo and behold, his servants come and tell him that his son has been healed at the exact time Jesus' said the boy was healed, and Boom, the man and his entire household believe. Not believe, as in "This guy is a miracle-worker," but as in, "This guy is the miracle-worker, the Christ." Still, my question is "would he have believed Jesus to be the Christ without that sign?" I'd say "No." After all, Jesus said as much to him before He sent him on his way. This man needed a sign, Jesus gave him one, and he and his entire household believed that Jesus was the Messiah. Without that sign, he might simply have been excited about a miracler-worker running through the Galilean countryside, and not given the Messiah bit any more thought. Sign needed, sign given, belief happened. End of story.

The fence riding bit
So what's the difference between this man, and the people who are waiting for God to drop a bomb in their laps? After all, both need - or want - a sign. The key difference, I think, is that the man had a bomb dropped in his lap and was told, "It exploded in your lap." And yet, without seeing the explosion, he chose to believe that the bomb in his lap had exploded. And sure enough, it did. Without that initial movement, he probably wouldn't have believed. Think about it: if the nobleman had kept pestering Jesus with the demand that he come and physically heal his son before his eyes, he would have missed the opportunity to believe the sign: he would have pestered Jesus for a miracle until his servants found him and told him that his son had gotten better, and he would have written off the healing to sheer length of time and a good immune system and completely forgotten Jesus' words that his son had already been healed. True, the explosion still happened, it's just that the nobleman wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't moved.

The fence rider is waiting to actually see the explosion before he'll choose to move. What he doesn't realize is that the fuze lights up with his first step off the fence, moving out in full expectation of an exploded bomb. In other words, he pesters Jesus for a sign, and while bombs are going off all around him, he says, "I didn't feel it, so it didn't happen." And, "If it didn't happen, I don't need to move."

Drat those dastardly fence riders.

Which leads, of course, to the introspection...
I wonder how often I sit on the fence myself, waiting for God to show me exactly what to do next? I pray, asking for clarity upon clarity, but fail to move, or do, or be - because I need God's exact Word. Which, naturally, translates into, I want risk-free certainty, and don't want to live by faith.

January 23, 2008

What is mine?

So, I've been doing a lot of contemplation on "ministry" lately, particularly in the area of "What is mine?"

Now, being an ordained Deacon in the CEC, I suppose I could safely assume what my ministry is. However, I believe there is a distinction between my "office" of Deacon and my personal "ministry."

I know that God has given everyone in the universal Church spiritual gifts and natural talents and abilities. Each man or woman is to use those gifts and talents to perform the task of ministry that God has placed before him or her. And, of course, that ministry is as different as each person is unique. My friend and fellow deacon, Joshua, and I may share similar duties and functions as deacons, but we have very different ministries.

This isn't really anything new, I know, but having spent so much time performing the duties of my office and trying to make a living, has aided my "forgetting" what my personal ministry was - and still is. And so I've spent some time praying the question, "What is mine?" This question is important to me, as not performing a personal ministry task makes me feel as though I'm merely treading water: staying afloat, but not swimming in any particular direction. Or, to put it another way, it's like sitting on a raft, being tossed around by the currents and waves, rather than sitting in a boat, which can be steered by sail and rudder once the Wind picks up. Of course, if I don't have my sails up, how can I be prepared for the Wind when it comes? So... it's time to put the sails up on this boat, and get prepared for moving.

And so I keep praying the same prayer: "What is mine?" One thing that God has reminded me is that He has given me a facility with languages, and words in particular. I know that He wants me to write; He's shared with me several things I need to put to paper, and so off I go, keyboard in hand. Perhaps I'll get those items knocked out in the next decade; perhaps not. But at least the sails will be up.