So, I got a little goofy one day and decided to modify my screensaver. Now, whenever I lock my computer and walk away, the following message displays on my screen:

Posted by Michael at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Reality Check by Dave Whamond.

I think this pretty much sums up the current state of American English education.

[a quick addition: 3:10pm] The definition of goodly, and the difference between good and well.

Posted by Michael at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

So I haven't blogged in a while, due to the fact that we have large project going on at work right now, which may take me into the end of next week. The project is to put a web-interface on our alumni database, so that our alumni volunteers can solicit our other volunteers for donations to keep our school ticking and at the top of the scientific food chain. In other words, I'm building a telemarketing tool, minus the auto-phoning portion.

I know. I know. I should be shot.

But they pay the bills.

So, if you don't see anything here for a while, you'll know it's not because I've lost interest, or have blown a creative blood vessel, it's just that I actually have work to do.... Strange but true.

Posted by Michael at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Sent to me by a friend at work. I'd like to call, but the area code is in Jamaica. Somehow I don't think commuting would work.

Posted by Michael at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Joann sent me a link to a blog, where the guy used the Hero Machine to make himself a nifty little Defender of the Faith. Since I seem to have an infatuation with St. Michael, the Archangel, I figured I would have to make a St. Michael, the Hero. Unfortunately, there is no Make Your Own Action Figure module you can install to make this come true, although, a few months back I ran across a company that lets you build your own personalized Action Figure. I think it's something like $150 bucks, and you get an action figure that looks like you. Not bad, if you have money to blow.

Posted by Michael at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

I can't find anything sweet to eat. I may have to go and force myself to buy something desert-like. All I have are chocolate chips for cookies.

Hmm... maybe a trip to Cold Stone is in order....

Posted by Michael at 6:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

"Do, or do not. There is no try."
This has long been my favorite Yoda quote from Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back. It happens shortly after Yoda asks Luke to pull his X-Wing fighter out of the swamp that it has sunk into. Luke responds that he will "try," to which Yoda gets mad, and says that infamous quote. And so Luke does try, only to fail. At this point Luke sits down dejected, and says, "You ask the impossible." And Yoda quietly says, "That is why you fail."

There is a biblical precedence for this. It's called faith. Jesus told us that if we had faith the size of a mustard seed, we could tell a mountain to move and it would do so (Matt. 17:14-20). Move a mountain?, without any big earth moving tools?

Impossible! we say.

And that is why we fail.

Truth be told, we will never affect any great change in our lives until the moment we become completely convinced of the necessity for change. Some people call it a "paradigm shift," and others call it a "worldview refocus." Any addict will tell you of the moment they came to the realization that they had a problem, and realized the necessity to change. Others will see that moment where they realize their health is destroying them, and that a change in diet or habits is absolutely necessary. On a lesser note, none of the rest of us will make a change in our habits for the better, won't take on an exercise regime, or keep track of our finances, until that moment when we realize not only the desirability of the action, but the necessity for the action. Until that moment, we rationalize away the behaviors, the potential pain, or the time spent. We cannot - will not - affect any real change in our lives until that refocusing of our worldview. In short, until we devolop faith.

Of course, all of this is still just a matter of a natural worldview, and what can be accomplished by the ordinary. Even if I become a believer in something, and at that moment reorder my life to make possible that newfound belief, I am still operating in the natural. Good for me. I'll make a new man of myself in the world, and to the world around me. I've devoloped faith in the natural, and in my own abilities; I've developed faith in the things I can control: Whoop-te-doo.

Control is an illusion. I have no control. You have no control. The pharisees, when they sought to control a zealot blasphemer unleashed the power of God in a way that no one had seen it to date, and made available that power to me... if only my focus is on the cross. The only control I have is faith in the power that was made possible through a horrid, vicious death of God on a Friday afternoon.

I can tell a mountain to move from here to there, and it will do so.

Or will it?

Do have faith, or do not. There is no try.

Posted by Michael at 2:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So this morning I find myself singing a certain song I heard ages ago, while visiting family in Germany. It was by the comedian Jürgen von der Lippe (rough translation: Jürgen from the Lip), who was born as Hans-Jürgen Dohrenkamp, and later changed his name - because that's what people do, apparently, especially if they're entertainers.

In any case, the song begins like this: "Guten Morgen liebe Sorgen, seid ihr auch schon alle da, habt ihr auch so gut geschlafen, na dann ist ja alles klar." (30 sec music clip, so you can hear what it's supposed to sound like.)

Normally I wouldn't have reason to be anything but chipper, but as you know, the girlfriend just recently broke it off with me, and last night I had a conversation with another ex-girlfriend. It turns out the other ex is in a relationship with a guy she thinks may be good for her, and she wanted to ask me for some advice and to work through some of her fears and other things as she enters into this relationship a bit more fully. She was and is a good friend, so I want what's best for her, so I did what I could to help her work through those things. Then explained to her the process of the break-up with my girlfriend. Needless to say, it took me down a notch in chipperness.

So, I woke up this morning, reciting lyrics to a comedic song, sung in German, the translation of which is something like this:
Good morning, my dear sorrows, are you all already here? Did you also sleep so well, then good, everything's ok. etc... etc...

For those of you with an understanding of the language, here's the full song, untranslated, since I don't want to ruin the song by translating it:

Guten Morgen liebe Sorgen, seid ihr auch schon alle da,

habt ihr auch so gut geschlafen, na dann ist ja alles klar.

Wir schwingen unser linkes Bein behende aus dem Bett,

der Bettvorleger gibt uns Schwung bis direkt vors Klosett.

Und weil wir einmal da sind, na da bleib'n wir auch gleich hier,

Uh, fertig . . . Wo ist das Papier?

Wenn ein Tag so wunderschön beginnt ist alles drin,

die Dusche, die bleibt heute kalt, das Wasserrohr ist hin.

Wir gleiten auf den Fliesen aus und prellen uns den Steiß,

zur Krönung schmeckt der Kaffee irgendwie nach Schweiß.

Die Zeitung ist geklaut, was solls, die schreiben eh nur Dreck.

Ein Zettel auf dem Tisch, Für mich? Aha, die Frau ist weg.

Mit meinem Hund und meinem Auto, und das nennt 'se Liebe

Die Pornosammlung hat 'se auch noch mit. Gelegenheit macht Diebe.

Ich sauf mir einen, steig in's Auto und trete voll aufs Gas.

Entenjagen macht besoffen doppelt so viel Spaß.

Wieso hat der vor mir jetzt 'ne Vollbremsung gemacht?

denke ich noch so bei mir. Und dann wird es Nacht.

Ich wache auf, vor meinem Bett steht ein alter Mann.

"Sie hatten einen Unfall." Und grinst mich blöde an.

"Na, Moment mal, Wieso hab ich das Steuer noch in der Hand?"

"N m" sagt er: "In Engelskreisen wird das Harfe genannt."

Of course, my coffee tasted fine, the shower worked fine, my wife didn't leave me and I'm not dead and in heaven, holding a harp, so I figure I'm doing halfway OK -- just not as chipper as normal.

Posted by Michael at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

perhaps it would be best to describe myself as a "dog-in-small-doses-enjoyer"

Posted by Michael at 1:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

In fact, it might be a stretch to call me a dog liker.

I'm more of a dog tolerator.

Posted by Michael at 2:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)