When I still worked at the Fuller Seminary Bookstore, I ran across a book with this title. Naturally, my curiosity was piqued. But sadly, as the book has not yet been published, I was unable to figure out what it was all about. Naturally, however, that won't stop me from adding my own musing on the subject.

I would posit that a friendlationship is none other than the most common affliction: the "We're just friends" half-truth.

Those who've experienced enough relationships will have had the joy of experiening at least one of these questionable (questioning?) relationships. Let me offer up two brief vignettes to appropriately describe what could potentially be called the Friendlationship:

Vignette 1:
Boy meets girl. Boy gets up nerve and speaks to girl. Girl enjoys talking with boy.

Weeks pass with much of the same.

Girl develops feelings for boy. Boy has feelings for girl.

None of this ever comes up in conversation. Boy and girl spend inordinate amounts of time together. Neither broaches the subject of dating.

People ask what's going on, but neither one really knows, or is too afraid to ask, so the response is: "We're just friends."

Boy gets irritated with girl or visa-versa. Begins speaking with another person.

Serious amounts of bitterness and anger ensue from one party to the other, or perhaps both.

All hell breaks loose, and the other is branded as a miscreant. But when asked "Weren't you just friends?" both have to answer "Um, yeah" and float a sheepish look.

Vignette 2:
Boy meets girl. Boy talks to girl, asks her to join him to coffee, dinner, or some event. Girl enjoys talking with boy, and future events are planned.

Boy and girl make out. One or both parties freak out, and distance themselves from the other.

One or both parties are afraid to broach the topic of "What are we?" so no discussion ensues. Both parties continue to do things in private that should have a counterpart in public, though none ensues, because after all, "We're just friends."

All hell breaks loose, and the other is branded as a miscreant. But when asked "Weren't you just friends?" both have to answer "Um, yeah" and float a sheepish look.

So there you have it. A cynical look at Friendlationships.

Posted by Michael at 4:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

So I just started a new job yesterday as a Web Specialist at Caltech, and have already been impressed with the speed by which my new equipment has come to me.

My Pentium 4, 3.0GHz, with dual 19" screens, and 1GB of RAM was fully setup and operational on the first day. My glass encased nameplate was put on my desk just this morning, and I already have my staff ID card, and keys to the building. Strange but true, some places do business on an efficient timeline.

Posted by Michael at 8:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So this weekend I ran the 20th LA Marathon - March 6th. I've been training for it, and felt that I might have a better shot at beating my last marathon time of 3:48:58. Unfortunately, this was not in the cards.

The first 18 miles of the run were great, and I managed to pull out an 8:20 pace - on track for beating my old time. But at mile 15 I had already felt twinges of cramping in my quads, and when I came to mile 18, my legs seized up so that I was unable to walk for a bit. After stretching, I managed to get back into the game, but unfortunately only partially. The remaining 8 miles were spent jogging until my legs cramped up, walking until they were feeling better, and then jogging again. A total bummer, as it dropped my time considerably.

The best part of the whole event was, of course mile 24, when, in a moment of cramping, I was again walking. It was at that moment that a 12 year old girl bounded past me, her pony tail bobbing happily along. She was doing great, and would finish with a beautiful flourish, no doubt; a result she must deserve.

Disheartening nonetheless.

Still, I finished. Happily. Though now the exhaustion is setting in and the requisite gloominess that comes with it.

And thinking about losing to a 12 year old girl doesn't help...

Posted by Michael at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today at work, I ran across this quote about Love:

"Love is a feeling to be learned.
It is tension and fulfillment.
It is deep longing and hostility.
It is gladness and it is pain.
There is not one without the other.
Happiness is only a part of love-
this is what has to be learned.
Suffering belongs to love also.
This is the mystery of love, its beauty and its burden.
Love is a feeling to be learned."
-Walter Trobisch

Drop the expectation of continual happiness, and expectation that the other is to fulfill our happiness, and we become amazed at the possibility of love. Love that is learned. Love that has passed the test of unhappiness and suffering. Love that has learned to let go.

Posted by Michael at 8:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)